Thursday, November 3, 2011

Monitoring the ghosts.

Last night I was home alone.  Well, not "Home Alone" home alone.  I had Elise here.  I had my dog Lydia and her cousin Inky here.  Zero Cat Hero was here. My mom was even here until about 10 p.m. I guess the only one that wasn't here was my husband.  So I was allllll alone.

It being only a few days after Halloween, I had a dvr full of spooky shows.  Eugene hates ghosty shows so I have to record them for myself to watch alone.  Which, in turn, forces me to sleep with the lights on, especially when I know Eugene is at a Guns and Roses concert, where Axl Rose will be a douche and not go on until 11 or 12 at night, which will mean Eugene won't get home to keep away the boogie man until at least 3am.  Anyway, I started watching my recorded stuff, and when finished, I was sufficiently scared.  I went to bed, turned on the boring news (hoping that I wouldn't see or hear about any masked-boogie-hook-demons.)  I checked AND double-checked our video baby monitor, first to make sure that there were no violent spirits hovering over my precious baby and second to make sure the volume was turned up loud enough that I would hear her if a violent spirit started whispering to her in the middle of the night.  My last conscious thoughts were "Man, if I were a Medium, I wonder how many dead people would be talking to me right now" and "Make sure you're all covered, Lauren, because it would suck to get slapped by a cold ghost on your uncovered skin."  Then my very last thought was "Stop scaring yourself and think of happy things and go to sleep." So I did.

Fast forward to 7am.  Elise usually sleeps through the night now, but when I woke up to the sound of her muffled cries, I was wondering how I even heard her because she sounded so far away.  My fingers stumbled on the nightstand looking for my glasses so I could look at the baby monitor and confirm whether I was actually hearing her or whether the cries I was hearing were those of "sadcat" who is the sad black cat that lives next door and cries ALL the time.  Her cries were so muffled I was sure that if it was her, I was only hearing her through the walls and that the monitor was broken.  Glasses secured to my face, I turned to where I always keep the baby monitor and IT WAS GONE!  It was unplugged (I always keep it plugged in), it was not on the hook where I hang it and the cord was just dangling!  A normal person might initially think, well it must have fallen. (Not me).  Is it under the bed? (It wasn't).  Maybe it fell and the dog picked it up and carried it away. (Nope).  Perhaps I did not, in fact, check and double check it before I went to bed and maybe left it somewhere else? (Not a chance).  Although I did get out of bed and start looking for the damned thing, literally, my first thought was "Oh my god.  The ghosts in my house read my mind, knew I was thinking about them and decided to prove their existence to me!!! Shit! Now I am scared again!"

After letting Elise whimper for a few minutes, I decided to forget about finding the monitor and save my baby from the unseen!  The ghosts probably put it somewhere totally strange and I figured I would find it in the shower or nailed upside down over the fireplace or smashed to bits is the kitchen sink.  The more I thought about it, the more freaked out I got.  As I was leaving the room, and telling Eugene that it was only logical that the ghosts read my mind and decided to move the monitor, he rolled over and wouldn't you know, said "Found it."

It was in the bed.

I do not recall moving it to the bed.

Maybe the narcotic pain medication I am still taking for my surgery/lingering pain made me do something unconsciously.

Or maybe it really was the ghosts...