May refuse drink because of contrariness.

So, based on some of my previous posts, one might gleam that I am more inclined to use natural remedies.  I mean, I had a drug-free waterbirth with the aid of a midwife, I went to a "witchdoctor" when I was suffering from my second bout of thrush, I use a chiropractor (which I have yet to blog about), I drink all sorts of teas when I am sick, I chug honey when I've got a sore throat or a cold, I use vinegar to relieve sunburn, I wash my hair with baking soda (sometimes), etc.  So yea.  I tend towards the "alternative" when it comes to medicine and health.  Needless to say, then, when it comes to my husband and child, I also prefer to use the least amount of intervention possible.  Now, that is not to say that a nice dose of baby-Advil doesn't come in handy, or a trip to the pediatrician is never warranted.  I just prefer to try the old-fashioned home remedies before rushing out to get a 'scrip. 

Before Elise was born, I went to a local market here called Sevananda.  Sevananda has a nice medicinals section, so I went looking for diaper creme, soaps, baby products, etc.  I came across what seemed to be a great buy: "Hyland's Kids' Kit" which is a selection of what is apparently the most useful homeopathic remedies for most common childhood ailments.  The kit contains 30x potencies of the following remedies:  Aconite, Arnica, Belladonna, Chamomilla, Ferrum Phos, Hepar Sulph and a tube of something called "Bumps and Bruises."  Now, I've used the Chamomilla and the Bumps and Bruises ointment with great success.  I know how good Chammomile tea is when you're sick, so it basically works the same for Elise when she's running a low temp or when she is teething.  In any event, this blog isn't so much about the healing powers of natural remedies as it is about the things I found HILARIOUS in the pamphlet that came along with the kit.  Each remedy comes with a dose guide and a description of the ailments for which one can use the remedy.  For your enjoyment, I present the following:


Aconite:
-fear of death/ says he/she is going to die. (I wonder if this works if the kid misbehaved and you have threatened death).

-croupy cough which frightens (everyone). (No, it seriously says "(everyone)".)

-frantic with pain.

Arnica:
-fears being touched, approached. (Maybe I should give this to my sister-in-law's chihuahua. That dog is afraid of everyone).

-Complains bed is too hard.  (Goldilocks needs this.  That biotch is always complaining about something.)

-Wants to go home/says there is nothing wrong. (What if the kid is at home...?)

Belladonna:
-thrashes about in bed.  (This is not a sex thing...I don't think).

-sunstroke with throbbing pulse.

-throbbing pains made worse from jarring, as when someone bumps the bed. (that seems awfully specific.)

Chamomilla:
-likes violent motion. (Six Flags needs to hand this stuff out).

-everything is too much to be endured. (I think you might need something stronger if this describes your issue).

-thirsty but may refuse drink because of contrariness.  (Ok, this is what caused me to write this blog entry.  I mean, who uses the word "contrariness".  I told Eugene that he was being contrary, like Mary Mary in that kids' rhyme, and he had no idea what I was talking about.  Mind you, I didn't explain why I was singing around like Mother Goose, but still, he didn't know what it meant if he was refusing something "due to contrariness."  I don't really know what this means.  It sounds like most women I know.)

Ferrum Phosphoricum:
-Symptoms tend to be better from 4am to 6am.  (Again with the specificity.)

Hepar Sulph:
-Chilly and sweaty with unpleasant odor due to sweat.  (What sweat smells pleasant??)

-snuffles frequently. (What is a snuffle?)

-Cough worse from uncovering any body part.  (just think about this).

-juicy sounding croupy cough. (Mmmmm, juicy).

-Sneezing with nose running clear that later ripens into thick, yellowish discharge. (What is it with the appetite-inducing descriptions?)

and finally...Peevishness.  (wtf?)

So there you have it.  Should you be able to figure out what the above means, like when your child is being peevish, well, feel free to tell me when I should administer the remedies to my child. 


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