Yes. My brother and his buddies wrote, produced and acted in a show that got picked up by Dish Network. I am very proud of him. The show is called Cabbagetown and is on the SkyCity channel at Dish. It is a comedy sketch show and it will probably offend a lot of people, but I think it is pretty darn funny. If it helps anyone get over their offendedness (which is a word I think I just made up), the network that picked up the show is called SimplyMe and it is a minority programming network. So, without further ado, here is the link to my brother's television debut. If you are easily offended, don't watch it. Consider yourself warned. http://www.dishonline.com/shows/357214-sky_city_tv/videos/889857-cabbagetown.
Ok, not his "debut" as an actor, anyway. He has been in a made-for-tv movie or two as a paid extra. As have my mom and sister. My mom was in a scene in "Life as We know It". She was in a scene that was supposed to be Texas or something but it was actually shot while my mom was walking down a street in Atlanta and they digitally added a Texas background. You can just see her curly hair glowing in the sun. You have to look close or you miss her! My sister was in "Lottery Ticket" and something else...but I can't remember it right now. She has also been modeling with Elite/Factor models and has done spots for Intimacy, Macy's and was on tv and in the AJC recently. I have a very talented family!!
Update: Apparently my sister is also featured on a recent mailer for Intimacy! If you get notices from them, look for my sister!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
That didn't end like I thought it would.
So let me relay this little diddie from the point of view of the person who told it to me; said person to remain nameless for purposes of anonymity. Which is, I guess, the reason most people choose to remain nameless. In any event, this story was too good to not tell everyone on the internet. I shall now proceed with the story:
"So when I was about 6 or 7, riding the school bus home on day, I had a jolly rancher."
Now, I know you're thinking this is a story about a sick school bus driver. I know it. It DOES sound like that is where this story is going. But you are wrong. Read on, dear reader.
"And I was so happy that I had this jolly rancher. I was just sitting there admiring it, twirling the wrapper between my fingers, listening to the plastic ends of the wrapper crunch between my fingers and watching the late-afternoon sunlight pour through the colorful square candy like a sun-catcher."
Ok, so the story teller did not go into such great detail describing the jolly rancher, but you can totally get the picture now, right?
"Then this girl in the seat in front of me turned around, her eyes menacing and her tone unquestionably accusatory, 'You stole my jolly rancher. Give it back.' Then this beast of a girl swooped down like some kind of prehistoric Pterodactyl, her talons snatching my prized candy from betwixt my fingers."
I've never used the word "betwixt." Just go with it.
"From that day on, I hated that girl."
Now to present day.
"So the other day I get this email about checking the sex offender registry before buying a home. So I says to me-self, 'Self, this might be fun. Let's see what kind of sex-offenders live near the home I purchased before I checked the sex-offender registry and what kind of dangers might lurk near my home.'"
Smart. Note to readers. Check the sex offender registry BEFORE you buy a home.
"I was suprised to see that there were some sex offenders living in my vicinity, but then I thought what could be more fun that seeing what sex offenders live near me and my family? Checking to see whether anyone in my hometown was a sex offender!! That would be more fun!"
"So I typed in my hometown zip code and realized that not only is my hometown full of sex offenders, but who do you think made the list? The jolly rancher stealing beast of a girl. Is it bad that that made me happy?"
This story made me happy. What goes around obviously comes around.
"So when I was about 6 or 7, riding the school bus home on day, I had a jolly rancher."
Now, I know you're thinking this is a story about a sick school bus driver. I know it. It DOES sound like that is where this story is going. But you are wrong. Read on, dear reader.
"And I was so happy that I had this jolly rancher. I was just sitting there admiring it, twirling the wrapper between my fingers, listening to the plastic ends of the wrapper crunch between my fingers and watching the late-afternoon sunlight pour through the colorful square candy like a sun-catcher."
Ok, so the story teller did not go into such great detail describing the jolly rancher, but you can totally get the picture now, right?
"Then this girl in the seat in front of me turned around, her eyes menacing and her tone unquestionably accusatory, 'You stole my jolly rancher. Give it back.' Then this beast of a girl swooped down like some kind of prehistoric Pterodactyl, her talons snatching my prized candy from betwixt my fingers."
I've never used the word "betwixt." Just go with it.
"From that day on, I hated that girl."
Now to present day.
"So the other day I get this email about checking the sex offender registry before buying a home. So I says to me-self, 'Self, this might be fun. Let's see what kind of sex-offenders live near the home I purchased before I checked the sex-offender registry and what kind of dangers might lurk near my home.'"
Smart. Note to readers. Check the sex offender registry BEFORE you buy a home.
"I was suprised to see that there were some sex offenders living in my vicinity, but then I thought what could be more fun that seeing what sex offenders live near me and my family? Checking to see whether anyone in my hometown was a sex offender!! That would be more fun!"
"So I typed in my hometown zip code and realized that not only is my hometown full of sex offenders, but who do you think made the list? The jolly rancher stealing beast of a girl. Is it bad that that made me happy?"
This story made me happy. What goes around obviously comes around.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Scrabiolies.
Do you ever just make words up? Maybe call something by another name just because it sounds better/funnier/more disgusting? I seem to do it all the time. I also come up with nicknames for people because it makes me smile. For instance:
1. Ravioli-I call Scrabioli. Why? Because it sounds kind of gross and it always makes me smile.
2. Squish-Squidgey.
3. Baby-bubbie.
4. Mosquito-Moss-Squee-Toe.
5. I am sure there are more but right now my brain doesn't remember.
10-12-11: Now I remember more:
6. Shrimp-Skrimps.
7. Macaroni-Smackaroni.
Some of the names I call my favorite people?
Eugene-My husband is lucky enough to have several nicknames, but the one I use the most is G-Doody. His middle name is Dudley, if that helps this make sense.
Michael-This is my brother and probably the first person I ever nicknamed. More than likely, I just couldn't say his name right, but I called him Mikemel. I don't do this anymore. At least not often.
Stephanie-This is my sister but since I can remember, I've called her Neffertiti. Similar sound but somehow I like it more.
Scott-My friend from college. I call him Scooty Pants.
Philip-So this is a wierd one. I call him Felip Navidad.
On that same note, when we decided to name Elise, I was so afraid that I would call her "Felise Navidad." I was actually afraid of the nickname I might subconsciously give my own child. Talk about wierd.
There are lots more, I'm sure. I do it all the time. I have nicknames for old college friends (My friend Emily, I called Chutney because her last name sounded like this delicious spread; my friend Kimberly I called Fraulein (and then Frau after she got married) because we were both in German class together) and I'm even calling my friend's unborn baby girl Breedra because my friend is Tedra and her name was a combination of the names of her parents. Tedra's husband is Brett, so Breedra is a combination of the two ( I also suggested Terrett, but this didn't stick). My other friends have also started calling the baby Breedra, so this makes it even funnier. At least to me. I make these names out of love and it is usually only my favorite people that get such names.
On that same note, everyone does this-you think a song says one thing, but it actually says another? I am probably the worst person to remember lyrics. Hell, I even forget the words to my favorite songs. ALL THE TIME. But, making up words? These are the two I really remember.
1. "Look out any window" by Bruce Hornsby. I thought it said "Look out Eddie Winslow." This was when Family Matters was really popular.
2. "Trouble in the sewers" is what I thought Billy Joel said in "We didn't start the fire" when he actually says "Trouble in the Suez." Again, tv probably influenced me because Ninja Turtles were fighting all sorts of trouble in the sewers.
1. Ravioli-I call Scrabioli. Why? Because it sounds kind of gross and it always makes me smile.
2. Squish-Squidgey.
3. Baby-bubbie.
4. Mosquito-Moss-Squee-Toe.
5. I am sure there are more but right now my brain doesn't remember.
10-12-11: Now I remember more:
6. Shrimp-Skrimps.
7. Macaroni-Smackaroni.
Some of the names I call my favorite people?
Eugene-My husband is lucky enough to have several nicknames, but the one I use the most is G-Doody. His middle name is Dudley, if that helps this make sense.
Michael-This is my brother and probably the first person I ever nicknamed. More than likely, I just couldn't say his name right, but I called him Mikemel. I don't do this anymore. At least not often.
Stephanie-This is my sister but since I can remember, I've called her Neffertiti. Similar sound but somehow I like it more.
Scott-My friend from college. I call him Scooty Pants.
Philip-So this is a wierd one. I call him Felip Navidad.
On that same note, when we decided to name Elise, I was so afraid that I would call her "Felise Navidad." I was actually afraid of the nickname I might subconsciously give my own child. Talk about wierd.
There are lots more, I'm sure. I do it all the time. I have nicknames for old college friends (My friend Emily, I called Chutney because her last name sounded like this delicious spread; my friend Kimberly I called Fraulein (and then Frau after she got married) because we were both in German class together) and I'm even calling my friend's unborn baby girl Breedra because my friend is Tedra and her name was a combination of the names of her parents. Tedra's husband is Brett, so Breedra is a combination of the two ( I also suggested Terrett, but this didn't stick). My other friends have also started calling the baby Breedra, so this makes it even funnier. At least to me. I make these names out of love and it is usually only my favorite people that get such names.
On that same note, everyone does this-you think a song says one thing, but it actually says another? I am probably the worst person to remember lyrics. Hell, I even forget the words to my favorite songs. ALL THE TIME. But, making up words? These are the two I really remember.
1. "Look out any window" by Bruce Hornsby. I thought it said "Look out Eddie Winslow." This was when Family Matters was really popular.
2. "Trouble in the sewers" is what I thought Billy Joel said in "We didn't start the fire" when he actually says "Trouble in the Suez." Again, tv probably influenced me because Ninja Turtles were fighting all sorts of trouble in the sewers.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Vampires of summer.
Or Moss-Squee-Toes, as I like to call them. I hate them. I really hate them. The thought of little vampirey-crawley-flying thingies just disgusts me. Not as much as the thought of crunchy-crispy-speedy-antlered/antaenned-leggedy thingies does, but close. In general, I hate all bugs. The list of bugs that I do not hate is rather short and includes (and IS limited to):
1. Lady bugs: caveat- lady bugs DO smell bad. I'm serious. Maybe "bad" isn't exactly right. They don't smell like a skunk. They smell kind of like soil and tomato plant and ozone. If you can't smell lady bugs then you don't have a good nose. Or you never connected the inevitable smell with the lady bug. I can pretty much tell if a lady bug is in the room just by the way it smells. Next time you see a lady bug, or one crawls on you, smell your hand when it flies off to lady bug smelly land. Your hand will smell, I guarantee it.
2. Praying Mantis: these just look cool and it doesn't hurt that the lady mantis kills her man after knockin' boots.
3. Butterflies: no explanation needed, although I don't like that caterpillars have so many legs. That is gross.
4. Lightning bugs: Also smell. Just ask the internet.
5. Worms: I like worms a lot. I will move them after a rainstorm if it looks like they are going to dry out on concrete. They signal good dirt and happy vegetables. Nothing to crunch, no gross legs to look at...hell, not even gross beady little eyes. Yes, I like worms probably the best of all bugs.
I think that is it. There are some bugs that don't "bother" me, like flies (unless they're bothering me), ants (unless they're fire), moths (unless they're eating my stuff) and maybe crickets. Maybe.
The rest I could do without. Spiders (blech), roaches (see above, defined as crunchy-crispy-speedy-antlered/antaenned-leggedy thingies), silverfish, horned tomato worms, milipedes, centipedes, any-pedes, fleas, ticks, flicks if there are such things, and the list goes on.
Since I really hate moss-squee-toes, we just started having our pest control company spray the yard for them. We seem to have billions every year and I thought the chickens would help control the population. I was wrong, of course, and it seems that chicken shit and warm-blooded chicken bodies only attracts more vampires. Since we do have the chickens we can't put any chemicals in the back yard, so we can only do the hard-core spray out front. Until recently, we were left with some inept tiki torches, citronella candles and Off! to help ward off bites. We bought and planted some citronella plants, hoping that it would help, but the chickens just ate them. I know. Ironic (at least if we use Alanis' definition of "Ironic")-damn chickens won't eat the moss-squee-toes but will eat the plants meant to ward them off.
So, in our newest war against moss-squee-toes, we bought a fan for the deck (they can't fly in heavy winds), some stronger tiki fuel and you'll never guess what the natural repellent is...GARLIC! For reals. Garlic actually keeps the blood suckers at bay. I bought some garlic spray that you put in the whole yard. I sprayed it two days ago. Now everything smells like a bad Italian restaurant (including my dog who hangs out in the yard) but I think its working!
1. Lady bugs: caveat- lady bugs DO smell bad. I'm serious. Maybe "bad" isn't exactly right. They don't smell like a skunk. They smell kind of like soil and tomato plant and ozone. If you can't smell lady bugs then you don't have a good nose. Or you never connected the inevitable smell with the lady bug. I can pretty much tell if a lady bug is in the room just by the way it smells. Next time you see a lady bug, or one crawls on you, smell your hand when it flies off to lady bug smelly land. Your hand will smell, I guarantee it.
2. Praying Mantis: these just look cool and it doesn't hurt that the lady mantis kills her man after knockin' boots.
3. Butterflies: no explanation needed, although I don't like that caterpillars have so many legs. That is gross.
4. Lightning bugs: Also smell. Just ask the internet.
5. Worms: I like worms a lot. I will move them after a rainstorm if it looks like they are going to dry out on concrete. They signal good dirt and happy vegetables. Nothing to crunch, no gross legs to look at...hell, not even gross beady little eyes. Yes, I like worms probably the best of all bugs.
I think that is it. There are some bugs that don't "bother" me, like flies (unless they're bothering me), ants (unless they're fire), moths (unless they're eating my stuff) and maybe crickets. Maybe.
The rest I could do without. Spiders (blech), roaches (see above, defined as crunchy-crispy-speedy-antlered/antaenned-leggedy thingies), silverfish, horned tomato worms, milipedes, centipedes, any-pedes, fleas, ticks, flicks if there are such things, and the list goes on.
Since I really hate moss-squee-toes, we just started having our pest control company spray the yard for them. We seem to have billions every year and I thought the chickens would help control the population. I was wrong, of course, and it seems that chicken shit and warm-blooded chicken bodies only attracts more vampires. Since we do have the chickens we can't put any chemicals in the back yard, so we can only do the hard-core spray out front. Until recently, we were left with some inept tiki torches, citronella candles and Off! to help ward off bites. We bought and planted some citronella plants, hoping that it would help, but the chickens just ate them. I know. Ironic (at least if we use Alanis' definition of "Ironic")-damn chickens won't eat the moss-squee-toes but will eat the plants meant to ward them off.
So, in our newest war against moss-squee-toes, we bought a fan for the deck (they can't fly in heavy winds), some stronger tiki fuel and you'll never guess what the natural repellent is...GARLIC! For reals. Garlic actually keeps the blood suckers at bay. I bought some garlic spray that you put in the whole yard. I sprayed it two days ago. Now everything smells like a bad Italian restaurant (including my dog who hangs out in the yard) but I think its working!
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