Or Moss-Squee-Toes, as I like to call them. I hate them. I really hate them. The thought of little vampirey-crawley-flying thingies just disgusts me. Not as much as the thought of crunchy-crispy-speedy-antlered/antaenned-leggedy thingies does, but close. In general, I hate all bugs. The list of bugs that I do not hate is rather short and includes (and IS limited to):
1. Lady bugs: caveat- lady bugs DO smell bad. I'm serious. Maybe "bad" isn't exactly right. They don't smell like a skunk. They smell kind of like soil and tomato plant and ozone. If you can't smell lady bugs then you don't have a good nose. Or you never connected the inevitable smell with the lady bug. I can pretty much tell if a lady bug is in the room just by the way it smells. Next time you see a lady bug, or one crawls on you, smell your hand when it flies off to lady bug smelly land. Your hand will smell, I guarantee it.
2. Praying Mantis: these just look cool and it doesn't hurt that the lady mantis kills her man after knockin' boots.
3. Butterflies: no explanation needed, although I don't like that caterpillars have so many legs. That is gross.
4. Lightning bugs: Also smell. Just ask the internet.
5. Worms: I like worms a lot. I will move them after a rainstorm if it looks like they are going to dry out on concrete. They signal good dirt and happy vegetables. Nothing to crunch, no gross legs to look at...hell, not even gross beady little eyes. Yes, I like worms probably the best of all bugs.
I think that is it. There are some bugs that don't "bother" me, like flies (unless they're bothering me), ants (unless they're fire), moths (unless they're eating my stuff) and maybe crickets. Maybe.
The rest I could do without. Spiders (blech), roaches (see above, defined as crunchy-crispy-speedy-antlered/antaenned-leggedy thingies), silverfish, horned tomato worms, milipedes, centipedes, any-pedes, fleas, ticks, flicks if there are such things, and the list goes on.
Since I really hate moss-squee-toes, we just started having our pest control company spray the yard for them. We seem to have billions every year and I thought the chickens would help control the population. I was wrong, of course, and it seems that chicken shit and warm-blooded chicken bodies only attracts more vampires. Since we do have the chickens we can't put any chemicals in the back yard, so we can only do the hard-core spray out front. Until recently, we were left with some inept tiki torches, citronella candles and Off! to help ward off bites. We bought and planted some citronella plants, hoping that it would help, but the chickens just ate them. I know. Ironic (at least if we use Alanis' definition of "Ironic")-damn chickens won't eat the moss-squee-toes but will eat the plants meant to ward them off.
So, in our newest war against moss-squee-toes, we bought a fan for the deck (they can't fly in heavy winds), some stronger tiki fuel and you'll never guess what the natural repellent is...GARLIC! For reals. Garlic actually keeps the blood suckers at bay. I bought some garlic spray that you put in the whole yard. I sprayed it two days ago. Now everything smells like a bad Italian restaurant (including my dog who hangs out in the yard) but I think its working!
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