That didn't end like I thought it would.

So let me relay this little diddie from the point of view of the person who told it to me; said person to remain nameless for purposes of anonymity. Which is, I guess, the reason most people choose to remain nameless.  In any event, this story was too good to not tell everyone on the internet.  I shall now proceed with the story:

"So when I was about 6 or 7, riding the school bus home on day, I had a jolly rancher." 

Now, I know you're thinking this is a story about a sick school bus driver.  I know it.  It DOES sound like that is where this story is going.  But you are wrong. Read on, dear reader.

"And I was so happy that I had this jolly rancher.  I was just sitting there admiring it, twirling the wrapper between  my fingers, listening to the plastic ends of the wrapper crunch between my fingers and watching the late-afternoon sunlight pour through the colorful square candy like a sun-catcher." 

Ok, so the story teller did not go into such great detail describing the jolly rancher, but you can totally get the picture now, right?

"Then this girl in the seat in front of me turned around, her eyes menacing and her tone unquestionably accusatory, 'You stole my jolly rancher.  Give it back.' Then this beast of a girl swooped down like some kind of prehistoric Pterodactyl, her talons snatching my prized candy from betwixt my fingers."

I've never used the word "betwixt."  Just go with it.

"From that day on, I hated that girl."

Now to present day.

"So the other day I get this email about checking the sex offender registry before buying a home.  So I says to me-self, 'Self, this might be fun.  Let's see what kind of sex-offenders live near the home I purchased before I checked the sex-offender registry and what kind of dangers might lurk near my home.'"

Smart.  Note to readers.  Check the sex offender registry BEFORE you buy a home.

"I was suprised to see that there were some sex offenders living in my vicinity, but then I thought what could be more fun that seeing what sex offenders live near me and my family?  Checking to see whether anyone in my hometown was a sex offender!! That would be more fun!"

"So I typed in my hometown zip code and realized that not only is my hometown full of sex offenders, but who do you think made the list?  The jolly rancher stealing beast of a girl.  Is it bad that that made me happy?"

This story made me happy.  What goes around obviously comes around.