Don't bury my eyes.

I intended my next post to be somehow connected to my biography.  I wanted to do things in some kind of order.  Needless to say, this post doesn't really fit in anywhere. 

So I've decided that, when I die, I want to haunt someone.  I don't really care who (see last paragraph for the truth behind this statement). In furtherance of this goal, I've decided to add certain provisions to my Will.  The following are my wishes, in case I am too busy drafting Wills for other people to draft my own. 

First, when I die, I would like part of me to be buried.  Which parts? The less important of the parts.  I am not partial to my actual body, so it can go in the dirt. I want my heart, eyes and brain removed before burial. Why bother burying anything, especially when it seems like all that will go in the earth is a decimated shell of a human.  In all honesty, I really want some part of me to survive in the ground for future archaeologists/aliens that have taken over Earth to dig up.  I will probably draft a note to place in my coffin (which I really don't want...I'd rather have a burial shroud ala medieval burials but it is illegal to be buried without a coffin...at least in Bibb County Georgia...I don't live in Bibb County, so maybe I can do what I want) to let these future people/aliens know why I'm missing some essential parts.  Although, come to think of it, organs do decompose so it probably wouldn't suprise these people/aliens that I was missing the fleshy parts...in any event, I also want a haircut. Now what to do with these parts/hair?

I want the organs (brain, eyes, heart) cremated.  I want the cremated ashes to be turned into diamonds.  This can be done. A lot of places do it.  For instance, Ashes to Diamonds.  Or Life Gems. And no, I did not get this idea from Michael Jackson.  I had the idea way before Michael Jackson ever did it. 

My other thought would be that my ashes should be mixed into some paint and then something beautiful painted.  For a while I thought I wanted my blood drained and then used as a varnish for something wooden and beautiful...a violin perhaps.  If you haven't seen The Red Violin, I just basically ruined the ending.  Sorry.  In the end, I've decided that this is even too macabre for me.  I know, I know.  How can something as simple as draining my blood to use as paint be more macabre than removing organs to use as diamonds.  For some reason, the latter just seems more appealing.  And sparkly.
I want the hair to be twisted and braided into some fabulous rings or broaches. Or maybe a locket. It used to be high fashion to create mourning jewelry out of dead person hair.  I could live in a world where we all wore dead people hair. 

I told some friends about my post-mortem wishes and they recommended that, at least as far as the hair jewelry goes, I ought to cut my own hair and fashion the jewelry before I die.  I can then bequeath the pieces in my Will and avoid forcing some bereft loved one to deal with my requests.  Plus, I'd rather not have to haunt someone just because they screwed up my hair jewelry...